Shitball thread

Well done Blunderland, never in doubt.

I wish Newcastle and Fathead's Tigers could both be relegated.

Newcastle. Thanks to them I can’t even enjoy Bruce’s relegation properly.

We battered Chelsea.

Liverpool.   Time to bring Rafa back home before he's whisked away by Real Madrid? Then he and new captain Hendo can lead the team back to glory.

Lolerpool

Stoke


It's all good though, we'll win the league next season now Gerrard's gone because the footballing gods are twisted wee jokers.

I expect a bit of a clear out this summer:

Outs:
Gerrard
Johnson
Enrique ( though I'd prefer he stayed <3 )
Balotelli - if anyone will take him
Borini - still interested?
Lambert
Lovren - hopefully
Brad Jones
Sterling - probably but for lots of money please
Allen
Rodgers

Just hope we don't get rid of Lucas. I'll be devastated if that happens. I him to be the new captain.

Players that need to stay: Coutinho, Lucas, Can, Ibe, Sturridge (if he can be fixed), Kolo, Skrtel, Moreno and Hendo.

Captain Goat wrote:

Borini - still interested?

As long as he’s going for a lot cheaper than last year, and partly just to avoid another summer spent pursuing him with literally no backup option for when he rejects us.

Looking forward to the Dick situation being resolved now. Would like him to stay, but if he does pull out (and if we’re not going to try and progress from scraping survival every year then I wouldn’t blame him) then I’d be happy that he’s leaving (and finishing his career) on a high note. Would probably be a first for a Blunderland manager.

Probably best for Dick to go now. Not so much for us. At least he gets to go out on a high, and won’t see everything go to shit like it did under MON, PDC and Gus. He doesnt need that.

Hope it was down more to him/his wife just wanting to retire, rather than a lack of ambition/monies from Short.

I will always love Dick now, especially after his reaction after the Arsenal match.  

Roll on Big Sam.

Dick's in for another year

Milneryeah

Dick loves us so much that he just couldn’t pull out.    

Good timing too, I was starting to worry that we’d end up with someone uninspiring like Dyche or McClaren (hope he’s working on a good Newcastle accent) or Rodgers…

Milner should be a good signing for Lolerpool, too. This all bodes well for a season of Blunderpool glory.  

New Season

Blunderland already bottom.

Stoke tomorrow...

Not losing. \o/

Not bottom. \o/

Everything's coming up Blunderland.

Transfer window over. Time to review my previous post:

Captain Goat wrote:

I expect a bit of a clear out this summer:

Outs:
Gerrard. -
Johnson.
Enrique ( though I'd prefer he stayed <3 ) - cheeky fella refused to go
Balotelli - if anyone will take him - was hoping no one would want him so we'd keep him
Borini - still interested? - You were \o/
Lambert
Lovren - hopefully - still here
Brad Jones
Sterling - probably but for lots of money please - lots of money get. And most likely wasted
Allen - I'm OK with you staying
Rodgers - Thin ice, B-Rod, get better or get out

Just hope we don't get rid of Lucas. I'll be devastated if that happens. I him to be the new captain.

Players that need to stay: Coutinho, Lucas, Can, Ibe, Sturridge (if he can be fixed), Kolo, Skrtel, Moreno and Hendo.

\o/ Everyone from my Needs to Stay list stayed.

Take care of Fabi-goal Score-ini, wish he was given more of a chance. Bet he has a better season than Benteke and Ings.

Could the Bentekesaurus already be facing extinction?

Welcome home, Borini. Hope it's more of the same as it was last time. As in scoring in cup finals, dicking Newcastle, and being slick in general. Not so much almost getting relegated, but then that happens every year.

It's like deja vu all over again.

Thanks for your efforts, Dick. Shame that the players only raised their game when he had pretty much confirmed he was going.

At least we're continuing the tradition of the new manager having Newcastle in their second game. Hope it's Big Sam, but then it doesn't really matter as whoever it is will just be gone a year later.

Unlike the last few years, I'm not sure if there are actually enough teams worse than us for us to scrape survival. Apart from Newcastle. And Lolsea.

In happier news, here is a scene for the Portsmouth Pirates series finale.

Spoiler:

 

Nood, Goat and Wiggles are drifting away on the raft, having just been banished by Steve.
Goat: So…looks like we’ve got some time to kill.
Nood: I could probably write a novel about all of this.
Goat: Nah, that would take too long. A TV series would be better.
Nood: Then it’s settled. Who needs pirating? Writing about pirating is where it’s at.
Wiggles: I can help too, right?
Nood: No Wiggles, you cannot.
Wiggles:
The End

B-Rod gone too.

Imagine if he goes to Blunderland, Borini would be devasted.

Blunderpool losing their managers on the same day.

RIP in peace BRodgers. 2014 never forget.

Noobcastle once again getting owned by the mighty Blunderland.


And another draw for 1olerpoo1.

Captain Goat wrote:

Noobcastle once again getting owned by the mighty Blunderland.

Even when Newcastle outplay us we still beat them. Six in a row.

Adam Johnson. Wish I was a 15 year old girl.

Captain Goat wrote:

And another draw for 1olerpoo1.

Klopp though.  Nothing can possiblie go wrong.

Get fucked Lolsea and Mourinho.

Loving the Lolsea collapse. Long may it continue.

Too bad Blunderland weren’t playing this weekend...

Pardew > Klopp confirmed.

I'd sure hate to support whichever team Palace are playing next.

Lolerpool raping City.  
Blunderland actually winning a match.  
Shitland being the only British team not to qualify for Euro 2016.  
Marton Fulop going to the great Stadium of Light in the sky.  

Fuck off Noobcastle

First Blunderland match I've actually been to in years and it had to be that one.

Bet you win tonight and Borini scores the winner.

No. He’ll get one of his shit consolation tap ins after we gift you the three points. You can also expect whoever’s been playing shittest for you recently to suddenly return to form.

There’s more chance of the Portsmouth Pirates being commissioned by the BBC than there is of a Blunderland win tonight.

Bentekkers

Sorry, you played well and might have deserved something. You'll win against Villa.