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 Shitball thread

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Captain Goat



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PostSubject: Re: Shitball thread   Thu Aug 04, 2016 8:11 am

If afro goes to Blunderland I may have to stop hoping they don't get relegated study
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PostSubject: Re: Shitball thread   Thu Aug 04, 2016 11:55 pm

Captain Goat wrote:
If afro goes to Blunderland I may have to stop hoping they don't get relegated study

Poor Marowak. Anyway, I think Mourinho will love having a dirty 7ft tall player like him in his squad, so I'm not getting my hopes up.

How well do you hope/think Lolerpool will do this year? Top half of the league looks so competitive... Blunderland will do well to avoid all that. Cool
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Captain Goat



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PostSubject: Re: Shitball thread   Fri Aug 05, 2016 9:23 am

I'm feeling Klopptimistic about the season. Twisted Evil

But reckon 6th/7th is probably the best we can hope for, preseason prediction for the end of season results:

1. Man United Mad
2. Man City
3. Spurs
4. West Ham
5. Chelsea
6. Arsenal
7. Liverpool

Tbh though its too hard to predict, Leicester, Southampton, Everton and Stoke could all finish above us too.

Fuck, Lolerpool gonna get relegated alongside Blunderland. What a Face What a Face What a Face
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PostSubject: Re: Shitball thread   Sat Aug 06, 2016 8:02 pm

So in the space of a few hours:

-Blunderland draw 1-1 with Borrusia Dortmund to complete an unbeaten pre-season.
-We sign Papy Djili...Bili...err...we sign someone.
-And Newcastle go straight to the bottom of the Championship. Laughing lol! #Rafalution I love you pirat

The football Gods are good.
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PostSubject: Re: Shitball thread   Mon Aug 22, 2016 5:36 am

So in the space of a few days:

- We sell our best defender, with the other one also wanting to leave
- Borini gets injured, joining Captain Mole, Mackembauer, Seb and Billy "fucking" Jones on the increasingly overcrowded treatment table
- We lose at home to Middlesbrough
- And we take up our usual position in the relegation zone, same as every August

The football gods can go fuck themselves.
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Captain Goat



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PostSubject: Re: Shitball thread   Mon Aug 22, 2016 8:18 am

Least you didn't lose 2-0 to Burnley Mad
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PostSubject: Re: Shitball thread   Wed Sep 28, 2016 7:17 am

So we lost our best manager in years and are going to get relegated for the sake of one match against Slovakia. Come home Sam, before Moyes undoes even more of your good work.  

Fuck it, might as well have a paedo break and bring AJ back while we’re at it.
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Captain Goat



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PostSubject: Re: Shitball thread   Thu Oct 27, 2016 7:56 pm

How has Moyes not been fired yet? Having no manager would be better than having him.

RIP in peace Blunderland Crying or Very sad
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PostSubject: Re: Shitball thread   Sun Oct 30, 2016 7:06 am

I think I actually hate him.

Last season’s escape felt different. It wasn’t a case of just fluking it with a few late wins. From the transfer window onwards we had a settled side and there was a connection between the team and fans that had been badly missing. All was well.

Now some fucking Scottish prick has come in and ruined it all.

There’s no way you can dress up taking 2 points from 10 games. Any excuse about “needing to rebuild” is bullshit. We didn’t need to until this prick:

- Inherited a solid side and spent twice as much as Sam to make us significantly worse
- Sold our best defender and spent twice as much on Crappy Djellybaby
- Didn’t sign M’Vila, even when he was begging to come
- Didn’t sign Yedlin, who is now living it up with Rafa and the rest of the black and white bastards
- Signed a bunch of mongs from Man Utd
- Talked about a relegation battle after two games
- Tried to inspire the lads with his endless negativity and defeatist attitude
- Pissed off all the players, especially Defoe
- Destroyed all the good feeling around the club in the summer
- Has us as good as relegated already
- Was so depressing that Borini injured himself to avoid playing for him
- Jack Rodwell
- Won’t accept any responsibility for all the above and any other mistakes that I’ve probably blocked out

Moyes didn’t want the job when we appointed Sam because he didn’t think he could keep us up. We’re now in an even worse position at the same stage. If he has any decency he should resign. Either way, he's on course to be the worst manager we’ve had in my lifetime and that’s not even an exaggeration.

When he does go I hope we beg Sam to come back and that he is overwhelmed with our love, as well as the knowledge that he might not be able to do better than us now. Even then though, why would he come back to this?

tl;dr: Fuck David Moyes, fuck the FA, fuck football, and fuck David Moyes. Come back Sam.

...But, er, at least Liverpool are doing well, eh?
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PostSubject: Re: Shitball thread   Mon Nov 28, 2016 9:52 am

You had a couple of good results there before El Boatico, sorry about putting you back to the bottom. Couldn't have Moysey coming to Anfield and winning.
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PostSubject: Re: Shitball thread   Wed Nov 30, 2016 9:17 pm

Losing 2-0 was a lot better than I expected tbh. Watmore's first touch for our chance though. Mad

Ah well, we'll stay up anyway now that Anichebe is in form. The cult hero that Altidore should have been. pirat
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PostSubject: Re: Shitball thread   Mon Jan 02, 2017 4:44 am

You know what, I never liked El Boatico anyway. Or the Premier League. In fact, fuck it, lets be done with this whole football shit and start the Blunderland Tennis Club.

Enjoy your three points/raping. Scout report:

- Vito’s confidence will be shattered after yesterday so make sure that you shoot on sight.
- Our defence can’t deal with simple long balls so make sure you play plenty of them.
- Kone doesn’t want to be here, so won’t put much effort in if he’s actually playing and not feigning injury.
- O’Shea means well but unless he’s up against another 90-year-old then he shouldn’t cause too many problems.
- N’Dong will run around a lot and have stupid hair.
- Khazri is a threat, but as long as you deploy a man-marker to sit next to him on our bench then you should be fine.
- Without Big Vic we won’t be able to hold up the ball/actually attack, so don’t worry about defending.
- Defoe will be too isolated/pissed off at how shit we are to be able to do anything himself.
- Get a few early goals and our fans will leave, so you’ll have the stadium to yourselves.

Prediction: Blunderland 0-10 Lolerpool. And we’ll be lucky to get 0.
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